Homeless at 16 to Head of Mediation

In this episode of It’s Your Business, Kath is joined by Sarah Griffin from SMILE Mediation for a powerful conversation about conflict, communication and the journey that shaped her career. Sarah explains how mediation can help in workplaces, neighbourhoods and communities by giving people a safe space to be heard, challenge assumptions and work towards their own solutions. She shares real examples of how quickly things can change when people finally start talking properly. 

But this episode goes much deeper than business. Sarah opens up about becoming homeless at 16, living in a hostel, and later returning to that same environment as a support worker helping young people facing similar struggles. It is a story of resilience, lived experience and using your past to make a real difference to others. 

She also talks about her move into SMILE Mediation, the organisation’s growth, and why helping people communicate better can change lives.

To contact Sarah or contact Smile Mediation: 

https://www.smilemediation.co.uk/

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Your Fairy Podmother®️www.fairypodmother.co.uk

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hello and welcome to It's Your Business with me, KLG, your fairy podmother. This is the podcast that shines a spotlight on inspiring UK businesses, the mindset behind their success, and the practical tips that could help you too on your business journey. Let's get started. Hello and welcome to this episode of It's Your Business with me, KLG, and today in my studio I have Sarah Griffin. And Sarah is from Smile Mediation. Hello, Sarah. Hi Kat. You okay today? Yeah, I'm good, thank you. At the time of recording, it's actually sunny. I hope it is when people are listening to it because it does uplift everyone. It's so much better when it's sunshine. Absolutely. So, Sarah, first of all, tell me a little bit about you and about Smile Mediation. I'm Sarah. I'm the head of operations and business development at Smile Mediation. At Smile, we do um workplace mediation, community and neighbourhood mediation, group facilitated conversations, a bit of family relationship mediation, not the legal side of things. So we don't do child custody and uh when husband and wives are splitting up, which I get asked a lot about when I'm uh exhibiting at events. And what that means is we speak to people individually about a dispute or a conflict that they might be in, and then we'll bring them together to sort of have a structured conversation and a safer environment to help them to create their own solutions. So they'll get uninterrupted time, they'll then move forward and look at solutions to each of the issues that they've got in a nutshell. There's a lot more to it than that. But so where do these people come from then? How do they get to smile mediation? So for the workplace, they might be referred by their boss, their manager, the business owner that they work with. It might be actually the manager that's having some struggles with another member of staff, might be the owner that's having some disputes, or just not getting along. We say the sooner the better that they come to us and have a chat about it, but we can uh get involved at any stage of a conflict, really. So it even after grievance. So if parties are still working together after the grievance, if nobody's moved on, they still need that support to be able to build that relationship back up and move forward more positively. So is it all workplace mediation then? No, so for the community, we have contracts with housing providers and local authorities uh across England at the moment, but we do work nationally. So we've got quite a few housing providers and local authorities uh that we've got contracts and service level agreements with. Well, we can accept pay as you go sort of cases as well. We don't have to have a contract with us to be able to refer in. So it's neighbours that are falling out in that case. So yeah, they might be living next door, or a lot of the time it's in flats because they're sort of living in each other's pockets and struggling with people above them or below them and or all around when they're living in sort of tower blocks and things. So yeah, a bit of a mixture there. And the group mediation stuff can be from anywhere, really, workplace or full streets that are falling out and things, which gets interested. Okay, it does a whole street argue with each other. So at what point do people come to you and go, We need help? I'm guessing it's when it's come to the stage where this is gonna be festiffs if we don't get it sorted out. Sometimes it already has been. I travelled down to Gospel last year for a full street that had been falling out and it had been going on, it had been antisocial behaviour, all sorts of complaints uh throughout I think six or seven houses in this cul-de-sac. And uh yeah, it had been going on for over two years, and somebody had actually been assaulted, and so we went to see the mall one by one in the house on the first day, and then stayed over, and then we got them all together in a neutral space in a community centre the following day, and uh yeah, it took about two hours and they were all laughing and joking with each other and planning barbecues for the street and and all sorts. It's really rewarding when you see there's like a shift in the meeting, it it's really awkward at first. Yeah. Then they all get their chance to say their bit at the beginning, and every single time they've been making assumptions about each other because they're not talking to each other, and then they'll hear something that they didn't know. Well, somebody will get really upset and start crying, and then the other one will be, Oh, I didn't I didn't mean to upset you, and I didn't realise that this was having this impact on you. Yeah, and then you feel it change, you feel the shift. I guess it's it's like anything with communication, isn't it? They're not communicating, they're making assumptions, they're all getting hit up individually in their own house when actually they could all just be working together, and it just takes somebody like you to come along and do that. So is it the housing provider that contacted you? How did you get involved in that one? In that particular one, they put it onto sort of a procurement portal. It's unusual that it happens like that, but I'll just uh look in through the procurement portal that I work on, and they'd put a tender out for that piece of work. Uh but normally they'll we'll just get a phone call or it'll be somebody that we've already got a contract with, or it varies really. And they're all happy and planning neighbourly get togethers now. That's incredible. So, how did you come to Smile Mediation? What did you do before that? Before that, I worked for a local charity at Positive Action in the Community, and I was a homelessness services lead there. I'd been there for about 16, 17 years. I was always interested in mediation and coaching and and you know that sort of thing. But there's been lots of things in my life that have led me to where I've ended up. It's amazing, really, when you think back. So that how I got into the homeless side of things was when I was 16, I was homeless. Uh, I'd fallen out with my mum and stepdad, and I'd moved in with my dad, and then I'd fallen out with him. You need mediation, you? Yeah, exactly. This is where it started. There were a lot of opportunity. I didn't realise what mediation was then, but there was lots of times in my life where I thought I could really do with some help to communicate with these people. I didn't think, oh, I need mediation, but that that's what it was really that I was thinking. Yeah, so I fell out with my dad, and I ended up living in a hostel. There were many times in the hostel I could have done with mediation as well, with the people that I was living with. So there's there were so many opportunities. You sort of went past that really quickly. Yeah. You said so 16, I fell out with my dad, I left and I ended up living in a hostel. Well, that's quite a big thing for anybody. That's 16, you're not living with your parents. So what was that like living in a hostel? Who are you living with? How did you get into the hostel in the first place? Okay, so I'll go back a bit. So I was living at home and just wasn't getting along with my stepdad. I sort of see it myself now that I've got kids. When you when your kids grow up, they sort of start having their own life and you don't have that control anymore. And I think that sort of bivalved a little bit when my stepdad started losing control. I were going places he didn't know where I was, things like that. I wasn't particularly bad, I don't think, but yeah, we just we just ended up falling out. So I moved in with my dad. I'd not had anything to do with my dad really all my life, so it wasn't it were never gonna work, if that makes sense. He didn't know me and I didn't know him. So I ended up moving out of there. He he asked me to leave. I ended up moving out and I was sort of on the streets for a few days, and then the police picked me up. I was walking from Cong to Falridge and back because I have absolutely no idea where to go, what to do. Yeah. I was walking because I was from Cong, but my dad lived in Falridge, so I thought, just keep walking. Keep walking up and down. I'll have to walk up and down all all night if I have to. And well, the police picked me up and they sort of asked me, where do you live? As you do. And I just started crying because I said, I don't live, you know, I don't live anywhere. They ended up taking me back to my mum's. I stayed there overnight, but I think we all just knew it wouldn't work me going back and being away. So yeah, they helped me find this place. It was down Car Road in Nelson, single, homeless in Pendle. So I lived there with some really yeah, random people. It was for all ages, so it was I was 16, but there were a lot of older people living there, and a lot of people with drug issues and things like that. Yeah, when they saw that I would I were okay, they moved me into a different house with some younger people. So that were alright. I made some good friends there. And then after about six months, I got a flat income and just went from there really. So what was your first job then from 16? There were a few bits and bobs that I did. I worked in the stables, could have done with some mediation there. I didn't get off with the woman that owned it. And then cushion filling for soapers, things like that. I worked in a burgership in Nelson Arndale. Lots of different bits and bobs, but my first main job was in a bookmaker's when I were 18. Cashier, yeah. I mean, even that that's quite a responsible job for somebody. There's a lot of money coming across. You get a lot of happy people, a lot of angry people, I guess. Yeah. Well, you probably do need mediation in there as well some days. Some sort, yeah. And I guess do you think that's where you picked up some skills? Because you you're dealing with different people every single day, aren't you? Yeah. I think everything sort of led me to to where I've ended up really. Yeah. In all those jobs I remember having issues with someone or another in the job when I were, you know, going from one job to another because I wasn't happy with the people that I were working with. And that's because people don't talk, they don't communicate. So do you think that's your style then? Because some people would say there's a common denominator here with all of them, and it's you. I were only young at the time. I think um young people can't communicate very well, can they? And I think that is a big issue. And I think it's actually getting worse because they rely so much on texting and you know, everything's online that when they are even trying to communicate, it's really, really difficult. I know people who've said, Oh, he text he texts me from upstairs, he's on his gaming thing, then he texts me, it's tea ready. I text back 10 minutes, and I'm like, What? Can I not even communicate between yourselves in the same house? Don't make sense, does it? I think um and I noticed that young people struggled to communicate when I worked with the young people in the hook when I was home as a services league, because that was young people. When I started working there, I was working in the same building that I used to live in. Oh wow, but it was a different organisation. But yeah, that's how I ended up there. I was sort of that's what I wanted to do. And then I went to uni and and when did you realise that actually I want to work with people who have been homeless, that need some help? What was that light bulb moment when you realised that? I think I'd I used to see the adverts in the newspaper that they were looking for people, and I thought, yeah, you know, I could really sort of understand a lot of the stuff that they've been through and and it'll be the perfect job for me, really. And I was going to college and doing community work and things like that at college, and I walk in to go to uni to do sort of commun well, at the time I wanted to be a social worker, but I changed my mind about that. So yeah, it was just sort of when I kept seeing it in the paper, uh, I applied to be it were bank staff at first, but like a bank support worker with the young people. So I started off doing that. I did one sleep a week, sleep overshift a week eventually. And then the manager there, she moved up and they left that role vacant. So I applied for it once I'd graduated. I applied for it on a three-month temporary basis. Uh and I've yeah, over there 17 years. Oh my god, didn't it? So you did a sleepover in the place where you used to sleep. Yeah. Was your first job? That's incredible, isn't it? Yeah. Do you remember what that felt like your first night? You're actually sleeping over there as a member of staff and not as somebody in there. And I guess, yeah, you've got a great insight to what people were feeling like in there. It was yeah, it was strange. Because I knew which one my bedroom were. I used to live in the attic. So when I went, because I used to have to click as a sport worker, I used to have to clean the rooms when people were moved out, the different people moving in. So that were weird. Just imagine myself back there. Because a lot of time would pass. But you must have been really proud of yourself. Look how far I've come. I'm in here now cleaning that room that I used to be in. And look at me now. You know, I've been at college, I've been to uni, and now I'm helping people that were in my position. The amount of people that actually do things like that is incredible, isn't it? Because I've been doing um a podcast with alcohol and drug support organizations in South West Scotland, and the other week we were recording the recovery one, and a couple of the people on the podcast are in recovery, and they say they'll always be in recovery, but they run recovery groups, and one of their questions was about that. Why are you now spending your time volunteering in like community gardens and running these group recovery cafes and all of that? And they're like, when it's the lived experience, they will come to us more than they will somebody in a service. You know, they would go to them first. So, because you've got an idea, and I guess that's why probably you were there 17 years, because everybody that was there, I bet they all thought you were great, because you understood, you knew what was going on. You've been there. Being there done that bought the t-shirt, do you know what I mean? And if somebody's playing up there as well, I guess, with you now mediation hat on, I bet you were able to communicate that for them as well. I used to like thinking in a different a different way to what a lot of other people might have done. So I'd I'd sort of if somebody were kicking off and they they'd got really angry about something, I'd probably just go, if I got a call on call, because they used to be on call or what, I'd go and pick them up and take them to McDonald's and just say, come on, what's what's going on? And just that that would calm the house down, but also support that person. Or if they were there used to be sort of when I worked in the Rosendale project, there used to be sort of emergency rooms, and there'd be like bed sits so that you'd move from one to another. And I used to think rather than looking at asking someone to move out, why don't we move them into a bed set and and give them that independence and that's that space and sort of you know that give them that trust really and and some responsibilities and things like that. And I feel like that works better and gives people another chance really and more understanding. Yeah. When you were working with PAC, was that like more like emergency care then? They'd come in, stay for a little while, and then they'd have to kind of go. Yeah, it changed over the years. So when I was working in the building that I used to live in, there'd be eight bedrooms, and I think they could stay for twelve weeks, which were a really short space of time. But then we moved to another project up on Leeds Road in Nelson, and there were 19 rooms there, four of them were emergency rooms, and then there were 15 fully furnished flats, and they could live in those flats for up to two years. So that that really changed. How we did things really, we had a lot more time to prepare them for living independently. Yeah. So for people that don't know, when somebody's in that type of accommodation, what sort of support are they getting when they are there? They have a full support plan, so it really depends on what you know, what they need really. It could be that they need support with alcohol, drugs, or it could be that they need support with just getting into some training, cooking, budgeting over the life skills. So it it really varies, really. Stopping smoking, all sorts of things, but they've all got an independent support plan that they did when I was there, how they did it really. So it must have been a bit of a wrench in a way to leave that. Did you just feel you were ready to move on? Yeah, I just felt I'd been there for sort of 17 years, and I just thought I need a new chapter. It had changed so much. There'd been so much growth. We'd got another project at Rosendale, so that was another 15, I think 14 maybe, uh, rooms there. And then we had Happy Homelessness, awareness, prevention, intervention. So we were first point of call for all homeless young people in Burnley Pendle and Rosendale. So things had grown hugely. So there were a lot more staff, a lot more sort of paperwork and things, and obviously with with me being manager and moving up or moving further and further away from what I got into it in the first place for. Yeah, absolutely. And I always thought I don't want to work with young people when I'm getting on a bit. But also I wanted to make an impact on a small charity as well. So yeah. So how long have you been at Smile Mediation? Uh it's coming up for three and a half years now. Did you just see that job advertising thought that's the sort of thing for me? It came into my inbox uh in my emails and I had a look at I had a look at the sort of essentials and desirables, and I thought, you know, I think I've I've got everything that they want. So I applied for it. Yeah, and I got an interview. It was really challenging because I've I've always said I'm shocking at interviews, my brain just empties out. I'm asked a question, if I'm put on the spot, I I really struggle. So but I really, really vote for it because I really thought if there's anything, this is it. Yeah, you knew. Yeah, yeah. But sometimes you do, you just get a feel for something, don't you? You see it and you think, I need to go for that. Something instinctively tells you. So, what did you feel like when they said, Sarah Griffin, you've got the job. I really didn't know how to feel because like you say, it were a big deal leaving pack. So I sort of did all that, oh you're kidding, thank you, you know, absolutely delighted. But inside I was thinking, oh Yeah. Yeah, I felt a bit strange, but I had to give 12 weeks notice, so I st I got the job and then I still had to be three months at park. But I sort of went to I kept in touch and and everything was smile in the meantime, 'cause it's a long time that isn't it? It is. Three months is a long time. Yeah. Uh and then everybody kept saying, Oh, congratulations. I bet you're excited, and I was thinking uh I don't know what I am. Strange, a strange feeling. So how long has Smile actually been there then? Smile 27 years this year. Oh wow, so it's a really established business. Yeah. Uh yeah, we've grown. So it it were just in Burnley to start with, and then they're sort of expanded across the northwest, and now we're national. And your title is Head of Operations and Business Development. When you think back, you must be really Proud of yourself and where you've come from, and having that resilience and get up and go to actually get there, that must be great for your own children to see as well. I bet you've given them something to think about themselves. Yeah, I think so. I think so. And yeah, it were one of the questions or comments that I heard a lot when I worked with the young people. I didn't get a bet it's sometimes I got a bet it's rewarding, but a lot of the time people said that there's no point because they won't end up anywhere and things like that. But it it gave me that opportunity to say, Well I've done alright. You live improved. As well, so they'd they'd be like, Oh, you know, if they you get the feeling that they're feeling like there's no point because they'll they'll never be able to grow or or do what they want to do. Or go to college or get a job or do you know do what you're doing. But I think when they've got role models, I think that is hugely important that somebody can see that someone else has done it. I mean that is to me, that is the type of people that should be working in them services because it gives everyone hope. What is your hopes and dreams now then, Sarah? Moving forward? I mean, this still feels really new to me. As you can imagine, I know it's three and a half years, but things have changed so much since I started already. When I started, the former CEO was still in place and she she told me that she was looking to retire. Like that's why I were coming on. Yeah. And they were also gonna be merging with uh an organization called Resolve ASB, which is a national antisocial behaviour organization, or they were becoming a subsidiary of uh Resolve. And so I knew they were on a huge journey. But when I first started, I think we had about 17 open cases. The CEO moved on, there were just me and the administrator at the time and a volunteer in the office. So we had 32 mediators, which the community mediators, the volunteers. Then we had 32, and we've got we've got six of us in the office now. We've got 90 mediators, and we've got, I think, in the region of 70 open cases at any time. So we've really, really grown. So I'm just enjoying what I'm doing and and I'm gonna carry on and grow, grow, smile and do what I came to do and make that impact, really. Make an impact wherever you go, it sounds like Sarah. Well, thank you so much for talking to me today. If anyone wants to contact you or smile, how did they do that? They can email me or they can give Smile a call. The number for Smile is 01282 436989. So of course they can ask for me on that number if people want to speak to me. Oh my email address is sgriffin sgrfin at smileltd.co.uk. Thank you very much for talking to me. No problem, thanks for having me. Thank you for listening to It's Your Business. If you want help with podcast training, podcast production or support with your show, visit www.furrypodmother.co.uk. And if you've enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, follow, and leave a review. It makes a huge difference and helps other businesses just like you find us. See you next time.